Twitter Tuesdays are in full swing

Surprisingly I have made every Tuesday since I decided to do this blog again. What is the most surprising is on Tuesday, February 23rd I went into labor and still made my Twitter post. Last week (March 2nd) I was recuperating and spending most of my time sleeping or feeding a baby. Today I almost forgot but really didn't have a great excuse.

I have decided March will be about Happiness. I've been reading a lot of Deepak Chopra lately and am really digging his stuff. Much of my posts in March will be largly influenced by his writings. The book of his I'm loving right now is "Power Freedom and Grace: Living from the Source of Lasting Happiness." I came across it at the library and it's actually due back tomorrow but I'm hoping to go in and get it renewed. Otherwise I'll have to order myself a copy on Amazon (which I'll probably do anyway) - I'm still not up for any shopping trips since it's only been two weeks since I gave birth to my first born (a son, he's adorable!).

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/RelationshipZen

2010: 40 Days Without... Missing a "Twitter Tuesday"

Around Thanksgiving I was thinking of things I could do that might bring more exposure to my therapy practice. I wondered about how I could utilize social networking sites Twitter seemed more conducive to my line of business than Facebook and it came to me that I would post some sort of "Words of Wisdom" that I've been learning personally and utilizing in my practice professionally.

Please follow me on Twitter and read this blog to find out my motivations behind the Twitter postings I'll be posting each Tuesday.

Each month has a new theme:
January was "Being Present".
February is "Love and Compassion".
March is shaping up to be about "New Beginnings" (hmmm... wonder why!).

This is also a great way for me to meditate on the topics I'm posting which has been an incredibly spiritual practice - helping me stay calm and at peace, centered and grounded. I hope it can be just as valuable to you too!

Please post any comments you have (or suggest topics!?!?) so I can get some feedback and please, please, please re-Tweet my Tweets to others if you find them valuable!

Looking forward to spending the next 40 days with you!

Megan

www.Twitter.com/RelationshipZen

My next 40 Days Without?

I'm starting to wonder if I should be thinking of the next think to take a break from... I'm thinking it might have to be taking on new projects but that's no fun. Especially when HDTV is calls out of the blue...

I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!

I made it 46 days without watching television! That's a month and a half!!! It was soooo incredibly worth it! At this point I really have no desire to start watching television and I'm not afraid of slipping back into old habits. The benefits have been so rewarding that I can't wait to see what else will come to fruition from not watching television. In the last 46 days instead of watching television I:

• attended a wedding (congrats again Brenda!)
• went to the Austin Kite Festival
• helped friends with film stuff (twice!)
• went to see musical 'theater' (Warpstar Sexy Squad)
• offered my first continuing education class for therapists (Smart Marketing for Therapists)
• attended South by Southwest (watched 15 movies in one week!)
• visited the Texas Capitol to lobby for Marriage and Family Therapists
• read the book Social Intelligence for book club
• doubled my therapy practice
• attended a "How To" for making a documentary film
• started getting things in order to make a documentary film
• auditioned for ComedySportz (my first audition EVER!)
• made the ComedySportz troupe and had my first rehearsal
• joined an "Alternative Softball League" with Ben (for local businesses)
• saw Adventureland and hung out with Martin Starr and his brother Paul
• took PugPuggy to the Annual Pug Luau
• saw Bruce Springsteen live in concert
• started working with a personal trainer
• hung out with friends on multiple occasions (duh!)
• saw the Master Pancake Theater show of Lord of the Rings
• and much much more...

Hot damn! If I can do all that in 46 days without television there's no telling what I'll keep accomplishing with little or no TV from here on out!

One...More...Day...

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Man, I truly feel like the little engine that could. I've wanted to watch television so badly yesterday and today. I figured my 40+ days were up, why not? And then I thought, yes, but I haven't made it to Easter which really was my original plan. Urgh! I have Season 4, Disc 1 of Project Runway just taunting me at home saying, "You know you want to... What harm will it do...?" One more day Project Runway, one more day.

Less than a week to go....

Hooray!!! I'm sooo close!

Yesterday I wanted to flip on the television so badly. It was the second time during these 40 days that I really just wanted to 'check out' by watching television. I started craving an episode of The O.C. I was very aware of the reason. There was a lot going on with me emotionally yesterday - I was watching a super-heavy documentary, reading A New Earth (I *love* it!), and working through the emotions of starting with ComedySportz. Plus Aunt Flo is due for another visit any day now. Maybe if I had watched some TV I wouldn't have ended up having nightmares last night. Who know.

The ComedySportz rehearsal was awesome! It is amazing to me how much being an "improver" is bringing up for me emotionally. When I first started taking classes at Salvage Vanguard (Note: different than ComedySportz) in September I would leave at the end of class on the verge of tears and sometimes even had to excuse myself from class to have a good cry in the bathroom.

Doing improv has (gently) forced me to let go of the incredibly high (and unreasonable) expectation of perfection I have for myself. It continues to teach me that it is OK to take risks, to live in the present moment, to be OK with not knowing the end result, and ultimately, to fail. I am better able to play with commitment in a scene I have no idea where it's going because if I fail it's usually a lot funnier than if I were to be hesitant and played it safe. People are paying to see improvisers take risks and dare to do things that the audience might never try.

Because I am now much more forgiving with myself, I am much more forgiving with others. My expectations are not so high. I've embraced that judging myself and others really is a waste of energy. My new mantra is: "It is what it is." The minute I label something or someone as "good or bad" or "right or wrong" I immediately place limitations on it or them. When I prescribe these limitation it makes me the one in control. I realize I don't need as much control as I once did. In fact, I've gotten in the habit of trusting that the Universe/Source/God will provide me with what I need in each moment. Plus it isn't fair to the thing or person I have decided to control or labeled. It doesn't allow for that thing or person to reveal its/her/his- self to me in each new moment since I have already made up my mind what they are.

This is an incredibly freeing place to be. So much so that now I have energy to spend in areas I've dreamt of exploring. My creativity has been off the charts. I can't help but think my sabbath from television has had something to do with this also. By not watching TV I created space for something else. I didn't have any expectations of what that would be but the things that have presented themselves to me seem thrilling! My business is thriving, I'm taking my performing skills to the next level, I'm researching making a documentary, and I'm dreaming of painting. Plus I am calm, relaxed, centered, and grounded. I am at peace. I no longer feel the anxiety that once imprisoned me. I am free.

ComedySportz Here I Come!

I'm beginning to really enjoy NOT watching television! It shocks me to have that sentence come out of my fingertips! Not having television to rely on to entertain me (gently) forces me to get off my rear and get out of the house!

Speaking of which... Ben and I caught the ComedySportz show at Cafe Caffeine on Saturday night. It was hilarious! I got a Brown Bag Foul and had to wear a brown paper sack over my head. While we were there someone mentioned the auditions that were taking place the next day to be a cast member of ComedySportz. I turned to Ben and jokingly said, "Hey, maybe I should try out." I think it stunned both of us that I said it. The minute it passed my lips I thought, "Well, I guess this... is... the natural progression."

I've been taking improv classes with Merlin-Works since September. When I began the classes I was adamant that I would NEVER perform in front of a crowd. That was not my motivation in signing up for the class. But as I think about beginning my first class of 301 (the last in the series) this week I began feeling sad at the thought of not having a group of people I'm playful and silly with every week (other than Ben!). There truly is no better medicine than laughter!

On Saturday during the day Ben and I had tried to get in for a spa day at The Crossings on Sunday but they were booked. We were disappointed but figured we'd spend the day doing yard work and going to the dog park. Instead, Ben came with me to my audition (the first audition I've ever done IN MY LIFE!).

There were 17 people trying out and the competition was fierce! I gave it my all and was pleased with my performance. Ben had given me helpful advice before we got there. He told me to never perform for the crowd. ONLY PERFORM FOR YOURSELF! That made sense to me. The more people TRY to be funny the less funny they are. I crack myself up all the time (and Ben too) so I figured if I cracked myself up at the audition, I'll crack the audience up! Easy enough... or so I thought. There were a generous handful of people there who were semi-pro improvisers and others that were just stinking hilarious. I did my best to not psych myself out and kept telling myself I could hold my own.

They didn't make decisions about the cut right away and I fully anticipated not making the cut. I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself for the news. Last night my phone rang around 9:30pm but I was already in bed so I didn't answer it. This morning I listened to the message and I heard Les McGehee's voice saying he wanted me to join the troupe. I started shaking a bit. I told Ben and he got super-excited and asked me how I felt about it. I couldn't think of anything. I was truly in shock!

I called Les to get the details and to make sure he didn't accept me just because Ben is a performer and one of his good friends. He reassured me that I made it by my own merit. He did acknowledge the large amount of semi-pro improvisers that were there as well as the talent that showed up from the community. Because of the latter they decided to take more people than they originally planned but were excited about the group chosen.

I think I am still a bit in shock. The thing that's blowing my mind is that I've never thought of myself as a "performer". In 32 years that word has never been in any description I would use for myself. Times are 'a changin'... I guess I'll have to get used to it!

The moral of this story: Never say NEVER!

SXSW Saves The Day!

I've been without television for 28 days now, can you believe it? Only two more weeks (and 3 days) to go... HOORAY!

SXSW Film Festival was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! I am so proud to live in Austin! I am just now getting over that overstimulated, tingling sensation that happens when all your senses have been engaged for waaayyy too long.

Here are the movies I saw (in no particular order):

• I love you, Man
• ExTerminators
• Sissyboy
• The Last Beekeeper
• Wake Up
• Sin Nombre
• Artois the Goat
• The 2 Bobs
• Observe and Report
• Humpday
• Sons of a Gun
• My Suicide
• The Eyes of Me
• Winnebego Man
• 500 Days of Summer

FAVORITES (by category)...

• Music: Artois the Goat - Brian Satterwhite is a genius!
• Violence (not a big fan but was essential to the movie): (tie) Sin Nombre & Observe and Report
• About Ghosts: Wake Up
• About Non-Drag, Drag Queens: Sissyboy
  
• Cried the Hardest/Most Moving: The Eyes of Me
• Laughed the Hardest: Winnebego Man
• Best Overall Film Production: My Suicide
• Best Actor: Gabriel Sunday in My Suicide
• Cutest Actor: Mark Duplass in Humpday
  
• Favorite Overall Movie: 500 Days of Summer (it was the last one I saw of the week so I may just remember it the best)

If you get a chance to see any of these, I highly recommend them!

MBB, over and out -

The First Day of Spring

I have always been a fan of new beginnings. One of my most favorite holidays is New Year's Eve. While I don't always stay up late and wait for the ball to drop, I love the collective excitement and enthusiasm over something ending and something new beginning. But now I have another favorite "holiday" to add to my list - the first day of spring.

Before 2008 ended I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to debut some business ideas. I thought that January should be the debut month of these new business ideas since it's the first month of the year. Then a wise, wise person said to me (this is how I remember it, obviously), "Huh, that's interesting that you believe that. I would think you would want to start something new in the springtime when the world is coming out of its hibernation and ready to bloom."

This was one of the biggest revelations to me in the last few months. It was especially telling because I had be talking incessantly about the fact that wintertime has always been a time for hibernation (the actual word I'd been using) for me. Beginning in late October/early November I begin hunkering down, spending less time outside the house, going within myself, and reading. For years I thought there was something wrong with me but now I realize how natural and necessary it is.

Plus, with all that I read and thought about I realized how much I had slowed down and was really observant of things in a way I hadn't been in a long time. This felt good. One thing I became very observant of was the amount of television I was watching. It started to disturb me and was a major impetus to my 40 day without and this blog.

Once I had the "o.k." to wait until spring to debut new business ideas I let go and noticed that I began getting more clear about my ideas. My energy and excitement began increasing. So much so that my (and Austin's) spring started about a month ago. I debuted some of these ideas and tweaked my thinking about some things and now business is booming! I love it! It feels great! What really feels great is that I'm not forcing anything. It's all happening organically and naturally. Just as years begin anew every 12 months and seasons turn every 3 months, so too does every day, hour, minute, moment give us the opportunity to begin anew. How exciting!!!

Television, Smellivision

I - don't - miss - TV - AT - ALL! Go figure! I think the major reason for this at the moment is I've been consumed with balancing the SXSW Film Festival (entertainment galore!) and my growing private practice. I'm not complaining, believe me! I'm just very, very distracted!

They say behavior change takes three to four weeks of consistency. It has been three weeks, one day, and a dozen or so hours since I last watched television. It has been much easier than I thought it might be. With 23 days to go before Easter (the day I can begin watching television again) I'm beginning to wonder if I even want to start watching TV again.

The big question for me right now is: Will I be able to watch TV in moderation? As I think of that question today my heart starts to race a little and I feel short of breath. Fear starts to creep in. But what is it exactly that I'm afraid of?

I'm afraid of losing what I've gained in the last three weeks, one day, and a dozen or so hours. Clarity. Energy. Creativity. Business. Connection. Purpose. Not that I didn't have these when I was watching TV, but not to the extent I have them, or rather see them, now. I like this feeling. I don't want to lose it.

My mission now is letting go of the attachment (belief) that if I begin watching TV again 1) all self-control will fly out the window and I won't be able to moderate my television consumption; and 2) I will lose this amazingly freeing feeling I feel with my increased clarity, energy, creativity, business, connection, and purpose.

Mission accepted!

My Visitor

My Aunt Flo came to visit me this week. Thursday to be exact, the day after the full moon as is typical. I always look forward to her visits since she reassures me of my health and vitality. However, I usually get a little irritable anticipating her arrival. My body tenses up, my chest becomes tender, and tears threaten to fall at any moment.

The first day of her visit is always dismal, as it was this time around. My irritability fades into all out reclusive social avoidance as my body becomes one giant knot that only warmth and handfuls of Motrin can subside. I noticed during this visit all I wanted to do was lay on the couch wrapped like a huge burrito in a down comforter and WATCH T-V! The desire got so strong I almost gave up on my 40 Days Without just 15 days into the process. Now that's saying something!

I was curious about how strong this desire was and I've been thinking about it ever since. I was initially annoyed and overwhelmed by my visitor and instead of telling her so all I wanted to do was "check out" and be distracted from the matter at hand. I knew she would be here for several days but reassured myself that after the first couple of days things would be fine.

And they are. The overwhelming desire to watch TV is gone. The movies I've rented aren't that appealing. Even my SXSW Film Festival Pass is only being used moderately.

That being said, South by Southwest (SXSW) Film Festival is this weekend and all next week. The music portion starts the middle of next week. There is a *ton* of stuff (mostly all free) to do. Just knowing that is overwhelming. I saw two movies last night - I love you, Man with Paul Rudd and Exterminators with Heather Graham. Tonight I'm planning on seeing Sissyboy and Alexander The Last. It is so cool seeing people in from all over the world. Austin is such a chill place and people are usually extremely welcoming of all the out-of-towners. It makes me proud to live here.

Plus it has me starting to think of movies, entertainment, and even television in a different way. More on this later...

Needing a Fix...

Before I stopped watching television I started observing the effects it was having on me. I noticed the crime shows I used to love were now making me cringe and I would change the channel immediately. The stars of dramatic sitcoms were sucking me into their drama and I'd finish an hour-long program with my heart racing, along with my mind. Since I am often surrounded by people in the entertainment business - writers, performers, directors, producers, etc. - I realized that the whole point of entertainment (movies, television, theater, etc) is to tell a story in a way that the audience can connect to it and be moved by it. The more I heard this the more I realized how successful television had been at moving me emotionally, but not always for the better.

Our subconsciousness is way more powerful than our consciousness. When we absorb things subconsciously it has an impact on us that we don't always recognize which in my mind seems much more dangerous. For example, when I used to watch crime shows I thought what I loved about it was the psychological component of figuring out "who did it" and why (my conscious thinking). In the last few months I realized what I was really absorbing from it was a negative energy filled with murder, rape, blood, and guts. While consciously I can tell myself "it's OK, this isn't happening to me" those images have an impact on me subconsciously whether I like it or not.

As I began noticing this I started asking myself, "Why am I inviting this negative energy into my body?" I started feeling like TV was my drug and I couldn't live without it. But I wanted to, desperately. I felt like it was eating up all my creative energy. So I did what any person who thinks they can "recover" all by herself does - I went cold turkey.

The withdrawals haven't been all that bad. I notice it more on specific days of the week and/or times of the day. Sunday night was tough. I really wanted my fix of 60 Minutes more so than Desperate Housewives or Brothers & Sisters. I also notice the withdrawal in the mornings. I used to *love* watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show while I was getting ready for my day.

I wonder if, when my 40 days are up, I'll be able to "use" recreationally and responsibly or if I'll go back to my old ways. I guess I won't know until I try.

13 days down, 27 to go...

Weekend #2 Without Television

What a wonderful weekend I've had. It has been full of fun and adventure. Friday night my friend Brad came over and brought his Boston Terrier, Haley, for PugPuggy to play with. It was hilarious. They chased each other non-stop for two hours straight!

Saturday I laid low and did some reading. I'm currently trying to finish Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman (same guy who wrote Emotional Intelligence). It's a great book about how humans interact. It is my book club's read for this month so I need to finish it by March 18th.

Saturday night we went to Cinematic Titanic which is the spin off of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for die-hard fans!). This is the show that Master Pancake Theater (the show Ben does at the Alamo Drafthouse) is similar to. It was super-cool to see the MST3K cast perform! Mary Jo Pehl is a friend of Ben's (and the Pancake boys) so she and her husband Ron came out for a drink with us after the show. What a fun night! (To find out how much fun you might want to check out Ben's blog. I won't say anything else about it.)

Sunday was another lazy day. Ben and I took PugPuggy to the dog park where she can run free and chase the big dogs as they chase after the tennis balls their owners throw them.

With all this said, relaying back what I'm doing to keep busy so I'm not tempted to watch TV was not the original intention of this blog. Instead I had hoped to reflect on my reasonings for watching so much TV in the first place and the emotional toil of being without it for 40 days. So with this said I plan to be more observant of the emotional effects of not watching television from here on out and record my findings on this blog.

If you liked the play-by-play of how I was spending my time you can catch those reports on www.bartbarley.blogspot.com along with pictures of the events listed in this blog. We'll see how this goes... I'm not judging the process, just putting some parameters around it... Hope you enjoy...

Warpstar Sexysquad

What the hell?!? Right!?!

Warpstar Sexysquad is a musical theater comedy production that a friend of ours and PugPuggy's trusty pug-sitter, Erin, is in. She invited us to the show and we decided to go, not really knowing what to expect. I thought it was some sci-fi thing that I wouldn't get at all. Instead is was an incredible production of all the sci-fi and not-so sci-fi popular references that you can think of - including an amazing Christian Bale-esque rant - packaged beautifully and hilariously into one of the most entertaining theater productions I've ever been to. And I've been to a lot! I mean a lot, a lot!

If you're an Austin resident you should definitely see it. If you live outside of Austin you should DEMAND that it come to your town!

Bravo Erin! Bravo!